Since My Valentine Got A Computer
Since my Valentine got a computer,
Valentine
My love life has taken a hit.
Nothing I say is important,
Unless it's a byte or a bit.
Before she got her new laptop,
Everything was just fine;
Now she says we can't talk
Unless we both go online.
"But honey," I said, "I'm attached to you;
Love is what I feel."
"That keyword isn't relevant,"
She said, with eyes of steel.
She clicked the keyboard furiously;
The screen was all she could see,
And then to my horror and shame,
She started describing me:
"Your motherboard needs upgrading;
Your Os needs help, too.
And you assuredly need a big heatsink
To cool your Cpu."
"Don't flame me, my sweet," I pleaded.
"Not on Valentine's Day."
"Fix the bugs, and I'll see," she said,
While looking at me with dismay.
"What ever you want, my darling;
Whatever you need; you call it.
I'll upload or download anything,
And then I'll go setup it."
(Her hostile Cd keeps replaying,
And though I don't want to fight her,
Is this what I want for a Valentine?
I've been burned; can I rewrite her?)
"Are you all hard drive now," I asked;
"Is there no software in you?
Don't you remember the good times?
Let our memories see us through."
"Lol," she said to me, chuckling.
"You're nothing but adware.
I've got a gig of memory;
I've got no qoute there."
"Please, honey, we can save it," I said.
"Our love means more than that."
"That's not in my cache; we're going to crash,"
She said, as she turned me down flat.
(This woman has verily changed;
Do I verily want to chase her?
More and more I'm thinking
It might be nice to erase her.)
"Aw, honey, don't talk like that," I said.
"Can't we just plug and play?
I hereby accept default,
And I'm yours, my love, come what may.
"My goal is to make you happy;
I want to be your portal,
But your sudden, distant coldness
Would test the strongest mortal.
"If we need a brand new interface,
So we can Ftp,
I'm your go along, get along guy,
And I want you to stay with me."
"If you want to get into my favorites," she said,
And you want to get past my encryption,
If you want to get straight through my firewall,
Here is my only prescription.
"First, put up your own Web site,
And e-mail me when it's done.
I'll check your page rank with Google,
And tell you if you're the one."
My life has come to be quite a trial,
Since my Valentine got a computer
If I want her to care about me again,
I guess I'll have to reboot her.
By Joanna Fuchs
www.poemsource.com
Computer poems fly around the Internet in a flash, so please respect our paid, registered federal copyright by following EzineArticles' policy: Post or e-mail the entire article, together with the reserved supply box that includes the author's name and Web site address.
Copyright 2006 by Joanna Fuchs
Valentine's Day: A Funny Valentine Poem
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